it’s quite surprising how quickly time moves, yet at other times, at just the right pace. had dinner tonight, with my wife and my parents, out to eat. something hit me tonight, just observing the room in low-light, the people, the waiters, the atmosphere. watching everything. we all go through things. a lot of times, can be, bad things and bad times; which may be hidden behind a 100 smiles. and that’s ok. there are parts of life that are tough, that will be tough, and it may be up to you to keep taking those next steps forward. i feel for people, i really do. i wanted a career in music, because that’s where i connect. that’s what i thought i was good at, or ‘good enough to make it.’ i connect and want to connect with people’s experiences, trying to recreate that, trying to sympathize, trying to put myself in their shoes and write about it. reality struck, years ago, yet now; i have a beautiful wife, always a great family, a great life, and a great job. i suppose what i feel may hurt for people, is when they do try to put themselves in another’s shoes, and how different that would be. if i’m honest with myself, i wanted to do something extraordinary. as in, have a hit song, have an ‘it’ album, get recognized, be a shining light supposed, be something special. but you know, it seems, we all have had that inside us at one point; and maybe it’s still there. i feel as though people want that, and some people do get that. i worked too hard for it, and tried too hard, and failed. that ‘light’ got blew out years ago. if i’m honest with myself, that’s the truth. but you know, i accept that, i’m ok with that. i really am. i’m used elsewhere in this life, and maybe you are too. as my dad would look me in the eye when i was younger and say, “try your best, make a difference.”
i’m out on the road a lot in the big city of Phoenix, AZ. i see a lot of things, a lot of people, and a lot of communities. i suppose, this is what wavelength i’m connecting on. some things it hurts to see, others, just having a good time.
i suppose i really don’t know, my thoughts poured out on here tonight, as it’s been quite some time being on here and writing. there’s something invigorating about laying it all out. and it feels good, yet again.